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"When Jesus heard it, he said, 'Healthy people don’t need a doctor, but sick people do. Go and learn what this means: I want mercy and not sacrifice. I didn’t come to call righteous people, but sinners.'" — Matthew 9:12-13 (CEB)

I was driving down Division Street on a sunny Tuesday, heading to my job at the hospital. But I couldn't see the road clearly. I was having a full-blown "ugly cry"—tears, red face, and gasping for breath.

On the outside, I looked successful. I was a charge nurse and a real estate investor building a portfolio of properties. But on the inside, I felt like a fraud.

Just a month earlier, I had been on a mission trip to Honduras. We gave "Blessing Bags" of food and supplies to families living in extreme poverty near a sewage-filled river. One elderly woman, who lived in a tin shack, took the microphone. Instead of just saying thank you, she praised God because now she had something to share with her neighbors who had nothing.

Back in my car in Spokane, I compared myself to her. I was chasing money and flipping houses; she was chasing God. I felt guilty for my blessings. I felt disqualified by my own prosperity.

I felt a lot like a man named Matthew in the Bible. Matthew was a tax collector. In his day, that made him a traitor. He was wealthy, but his own people hated him. He probably looked at the religious leaders and thought, "I don't belong at their table."

I thought I couldn't sit at Jesus' table because I was too focused on building my own empire. I yelled at God, "Why me?"

But God didn’t agree with my self-condemnation. He didn't tell me to sell everything. He whispered to my heart, "You are right where I want you."

Jesus didn't wait for Matthew to quit his job or clean up his reputation before inviting him to follow. He walked right up to the tax booth. And God didn't wait for me to stop flipping houses to use me. In fact, the construction skills I learned back then are the very skills I use now to build churches and help people around the world.

Maybe you feel disqualified today. Maybe you think you are too messy, or maybe, like me, you think you are too focused on business or money to be a "real" Christian. But the invitation is for you, exactly as you are right now. Come and eat.

Let's Connect: Do you have questions about faith, doubt, or finding your purpose? Let's have an honest conversation. Text Pastor Vic at 509-919-1897 to schedule a time to meet.

Reflection & Prayer: Do you ever feel like you have to "clean up" your life before you can get close to God?

God, thank You for calling me even when I feel disqualified. Help me to use my current situation to _______________________.